my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
