Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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