Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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