dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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