guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize