what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
