**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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