if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
