Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
