Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
