We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
