Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This girl is more easily done than said...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
