he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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