Porn is love you can see.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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