one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
