If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Even my vagina gasped.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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