we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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