It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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