I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
