...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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