ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
