Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
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Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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