So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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