Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
