It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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