Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
