i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize