Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
is wine microwaveable?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
