so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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