Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Go study a dick amy that's outrageous

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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(716): View more from New York

You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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(828): View more from North Carolina

That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

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(206): View more from Washington

Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.

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(518): View more from New York

MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.

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(706): View more from Georgia

He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.

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