you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
