he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
