It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
