I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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