her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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