I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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