four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
