life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i drank out of a bidet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
