He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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