Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
