Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
