I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
