my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
