I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
