shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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