Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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