I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
