i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
