Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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