i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
