sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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