i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
