There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
