Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
