so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
