I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
