sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
