About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
