Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
