Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
