why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
