you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
