New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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