I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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