My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
