Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
