This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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