okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
