i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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