is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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