The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
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I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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