I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
